THE CATNIP DIARIES - The first year


 4th OF JULY  

This is my second night with Mommie.  We seem to be getting along together OK.  I sure hope so.  This house is much nicer than the cage at the shelter.   Last night I slept on the floor by Mommie’s bed.

Tonight about 8 p.m. some really loud BANGS were going on.  I was afraid and ran to Mommie for protection.  Mommie explained that they were just fire crackers and tonight would be the only night they would go off, except on New Years Eve. 

Mommie held me outside for a while as we watched the fireworks display that the neighbors put on.  Mommie said it was free and not too loud.  I would just have to get used to it.    I saw that several of Mommie’s outdoor cats had come on the porch, but they skedaddled away when they saw me.  I guess they wanted protection from the fireworks show too.  Mommie said her Woffier was afraid of them too.


Mommie actually said that to me.  I don’t understand “No” because nobody ever told me what it means.  Mommie says she is going to teach me what it means. 

Lesson 1:  Don’t drink out of Mommie’s Diet Pepsi cup.  She bopped me on the nose and said “No”.  After the third time, the “No” got a bit louder. If I were a lawyer, I would suggest to Mommie that a Diet Pepsi cup left unattended on the night stand is “an attractive nuisance.”  It is so-o-o tempting. 

I think I am getting a handle on this “No” business, because now I get close to the Diet Pepsi cup, but I don’t dare risk taking a sip.  I really don’t care for the bops on the nose and I don’t want to know how loud my Mommie’s voice could get.


Really!!  When Mommie got up this morning she sat on the side of the bed.  Apparently she didn’t watch where she was sitting because she sat on my tail.  Now I have a pain you-know-where.  Another half inch and I would be a paraplegic - or dead. 

Did she even notice that I weigh less than five pounds?  Sitting on me is like having a Ford Pickup sitting on her.  I hope she got the message.  I know, I know, she was sorry and picked me up and cuddled me.  I think I might fake a tail sit just for the cuddles because she does it so well.


I met some really nice cats that live outside here.  One in particular, smells like a mommie herself.  She meows at me, asking if I can come out to play with her little one that she calls her black angel.  I don’t think she realizes her little “black angel” is just that, a black angel!  When his mommie is not looking he makes faces at me and mouths – ha, ha, ha, you are in prison.

By “met” I mean I see, hear and smell them through the screen door.  My Mommie keeps the door locked so I can’t get out and they can’t get in.  I know the outdoor mommie would come in and baby me if she could. 

Mommie saw my forlorn look, but insisted that she “might” let me go out to meet the others in a month or so, but right now she said I need to be in the house.  Mommie didn’t see it, but I stuck my tongue out at her when she wasn’t looking. 

How long is a month?


Mommie had a nice towel she put on the floor for me to sleep on.  Ha!  She had hung it outside to dry and it was r-o-u-g-h which was not very pleasant.  When she wasn’t looking I slept on the couch at night because it is so much smoother – and it makes a nice scratching post.

But this morning I found my dream bed – on the pillow next to Mommie.  I got to sleep with my head on Mommie’s shoulder on a nice smooth pillow case.  Mommie woke up when I started purring too loud.  (I’ve got to learn when to purr softly.)  I might have to reconsider this spot because Mommie’s head is pretty big and if she rolled over she might smash me.  Decisions, decisions.


Mommie was trying very hard to be a good mommie, but she bought me cat food that was too crunchy.  She said the bag noted that it was for kittens up to age 9 months.  It didn’t mention how young the cats could be.  Even though I have rather sharp teeth, that food was just too hard for me to manage.

Today she finally bought me some soft kitten food.  Yum, yum.  I think I was rather hungry because I almost ate the entire package by myself.  It was fun to tell that black angel about how Mommie was really taking care of me.  He has to sleep out under the stars and he can’t be near my Mommie.  Guess I feel sorry for him. 


Mommie’s side of the story:  I was caught up in the pitter patter of little feet this morning when something with four feet landed on my face and woke me up.  I guess that is as good an alarm clock as any.

Sparkles side:  I was aiming for the big hole in Mommie’s face that was sputtering and doing something Mommie called snoring.  I knew it sounded like purring, but even I can’t purr THAT loud. 

My jump stopped the snoring and Mommie grabbed me immediately and began petting me so she could hear ME purr.  She really liked the purring thing and I liked the petting part.  Guess we were a good fit for each other.


Mommie said she was going to take me for a ride.  Just think, I get to go outside for once!

What she forgot to tell me was that I was going in a cardboard box with holes in it.  Whew!  It’s hot in that thing.  She also forgot to tell me I was going to get some shots.

I met Dr. Bill and Dr. Candie.  I thought Dr. Candie looked like a nice lady (I even purred extra loud for her) until she got out that needle that was as long as my tail -- honest.  Dr. Candie told Mommie she would have to wait in the other room because it was going to hurt for Mommie to look as much as it hurt me.  When she stuck me with that thing I thought it was going to go straight through my neck and out the front.  Mommie didn't cry, but boy did I cry!

Do you know that Dr. Candie actually stuck some kind of stick up my tail to see if I had heart worms?  My heart is not even close to that area.  I wonder if she really knows what she is doing.

You can believe me, if Mommie EVER says I am going for a ride again -- Guess what?  Mommie won't find me for a week.  I will only come out at night to eat when Mommie is asleep.  I know some pretty neat places to hide around here. 


I have been with Mommie for ten days now.  When she leaves she puts me in the bathroom and shuts the doors.  The last time she came home she noticed that I was hot and panting.

Her solution is a little fan on the floor in the bathroom so I can be cool.  She made sure the slits in the fan were small enough so I couldn’t get my little paws in them.  Cool! 

Mommie always put the fan on s-l-o-w.  She doesn’t know I can change the speed of the fan by stepping on the controls.  Yesterday I finally got the fan up to a speed that I really like – FAST.  It cools me great!


Mommie took me to see Daddie, her best friend.  Daddie lives in a nursing home so he can get good care without breaking Mommie’s back.

Mommie, do you know there are lots of OLD people here at “the home?”  You should have seen the residents’ eyes when I came in with Mommie.  Everyone wanted to reach out and pet me.  I think I might like it here.

Mommie said Daddie was a “dog man” and might not like me too much.  Mommie said I can’t sit on Daddie’s lap because my claws are too sharp and Daddie has thin skin.  She said Daddie would just pet me.  Daddie did like me because he kept petting me a lot and he liked it when I purred. 

On the ride home Mommie was real quiet.  She said “I’m glad that Daddie got along so well with you.”  She continued “it would have broken my heart if Daddie didn’t like you”.  As I just found out:  EVERYBODY at the nursing home likes me.


When Mommie said we were going for a ride, I started to run.  After all, the last ride was to see that witch – er, I mean nice lady, Dr. Candie.  Mommie assured me we wouldn’t be going anywhere near Dr. Candie because we were going to see Daddie.  She said if I were good she wouldn’t put me in that hot box.

Mommie put a small kitty litter pan on the floor of the back seat and a little pan of water.  She said “stay put and don’t roam around the car while I am driving”.

We weren’t even halfway down the driveway when Mommie stopped the car and got out.  In the first 200 feet of the driveway I climbed over the seat, jumped on the dash, turned the radio up LOUD, looked in the mirror on the passenger side visor along with several other antics.  She found me stuck under the front seat.

You know, that box really isn’t so bad. 




Latest comments

24.06 | 22:14

Mommie, I am glad you are back! I was beginning to worry.

30.03 | 18:11

Other places charge for these. Thanks.

05.09 | 20:06

Interesting concept. I am sending an envelope with my name, address, and stamp on it so I can receive these for free.