More Sparkles

 MOMMIE’S LITTLE SECRET    

Mommie:  Don’t tell Sparkles, but I have figured out if I want to have Sparkle come quick, all I have to do is rattle his dry food dish.  I don’t even have to say kitty, kitty.

Like yesterday when I was getting ready to leave, I wanted to know where he was.  All I did was rattle the dish and he came running.  He was out of breath (a tell tale sign he was into something he shouldn’t be) and he jumped on my lap.  I always like to pet him in a special way when I leave, just to let him know I will be back.

I think he already knows the “getting to leave” routine and resigns himself to the fact that he will be alone for a while.  I use the dish rattling for other things too, so he won’t always know when I am leaving.

Ha Ha Mommie.  I already figured it out and just play along because I know you like to think you are in charge. 

A PLAY DATE WITH MELANIE  

Sparky's people sister, Melanie, invited Mommie and me for her fifth birthday party.  After all the other guests had gone, Sparky's mommie left Melanie and me alone in the family room.

Even though she hasn’t been a member of terrible twos group for three years now, she was just as obnoxious.  As she was dressing her dolly, Lisa, Melanie grabbed me and started to put clothes on me.  Would you believe she wanted to put girls clothes on me?  Ok, Melanie, I am a boy, at least get that part straight. 

It was a real struggle for her to try to get the t-shirt on me because she had to pull it over my head.  I felt like I was suffocating.  I started scrambling away as best I could without biting or scratching (which I really wanted to do).

Melanie doesn't know how close she came to a scratch or a vicious cat bite on her hand.  I don't let Mommie put clothes on me, so I am certainly not going to let this Melanie put clothes on me.  I struggled so hard that Melanie began screaming at the top of her lungs.  Mommie and Sparky's mommie came running.  Sparky's mommie scolded Melanie and Mommie praised me for not biting or scratching.

I'll bet it is Melanie that dresses Sparky instead of his mommie. 

LEFT OVERNIGHT  

For Daddie’s birthday, Mommie went to the nursing home and took Daddie home for the night.  She said Daddie was too sick to be around me, so she took me to Dr. Candie’s office to “board” me for the night.  I guess I know how I rate.  Mommie reminded me that Daddie is many years old and that she has only had me for two months.

It turned out to be a great vacation for me.  Dr. Candie wasn’t around (yee haw), so the office workers put me in a big cage in the back office.  It was a lot bigger than the one at the Pound.   Every once in a while one of the workers would come by and take me out of the cage and pet and cuddle me.  They all seemed to like me and they fed me really well.  They also had a great catnip toy that was so much better than the one Mommie gave me.

When Mommie came to pick me up, the workers told her what a joy it was to have such a nice cat around.  In the morning before Mommie came to get me, they let me have the run of the office.  It was fun.  Everyone stopped to pet me.  I think if I have to run away from home I will come here.

On the ride home, Mommie kept telling me how sorry she was that she had to leave me.  I think I have a gold mine of guilt to take advantage of.

THE FAN  

At night Mommie uses a huge industrial type fan to circulate the hot air.  She is too cheap to turn on the air conditioner at night.

Last night I got too close to the back of the fan and it started to suck me in.  HELP, HELP – Mommie come quick!  Mommie was sleeping but she woke up fast.  She just laughed.  She said it couldn’t really suck me in because there is a protective screen on the back.  I don’t care, it almost scared the you-know-what out of me.

I do like to sit in front of the fan because it does cool me off if I put my paws palm up and mouth wide open.  That is how I cool off – with my paws and tongue.  And, I like to get my fur fluffed up at the same time.

THE COUNTY FAIR  

In September the county fair was going on, so Mommie and Sparky’s mommie went.  At the last minute they decided to take all of us – me, Sparky, Sissy, and Melanie.  Sparky was on a leash (with a blue shawl on his shoulders) and Sissy and I were in our mommies’ back packs.  Melanie was in a stroller.

It was actually fun to see all kinds of animals and FOOD.  Since it was early in the morning and there were only three other people in the horse barn, our mommies decided to let Sissy and me run around.  We were both reminded that he had to come when they called.

Sissy and I found the miniature ponies.  They looked like baby horses.  We decided it would be fun to get on their backs and maybe get a ride.  The only thing was, is that the horses were not babies, they were full grown miniature horses.  I was able to get on one and stay there because of my claws.  Of course, that had bad results because my claws stuck into the horse’s hide and the horse began to buck.

The 4H boy was really upset.  He said his horse needed its rest before the horse parade at noon.  The bucking made the horse skittish which meant he couldn’t rest properly. Of course, by then our mommies found us and promptly strapped us in the back packs.

That kid really ought to thank me – his horse won first place!

THE MIDWAY  

Yesterday while at the fair we all went down the midway – Sissy and I were still strapped in the back packs. 

The midway was fun – food, food, and more food.  It was so crowded that many people who were eating hot dogs and other hand food passed by very CLOSE.  I snagged a hot dog and Sissy got a piece of hamburger.  Every once in a while each of us got a taste of cotton candy as a passerby got too close.  Is it really made out of cotton?  Sparky lucked out too because when I snagged the hotdog and Sissy got the hamburger some of the pieces fell to the ground.

After only two hours the mommies were tired and we all headed home.

Can we go to the fair next year, Mommie?

THE REALLY, REALLY BIG CAT   

In the middle of the night I heard an awful growling noise out by the back door.   It didn’t sound like a cat because it was a growling sound.  I am not ashamed to say I was scared.

Mommie, Mommie, come quick!  I ran and jumped on the bed and woke up Mommie.  She was not happy to wake up at 2 am in the morning.  I kept meowing and moving slowly to the back door.  Mommie got up to look because I think she heard the growling too.

It was a really, really big cat eating the remainder of the cat food left out for the night.  It had a striped tail and black rings around its eyes.  Mommie assured me it was not a big cat, it was a raccoon.  She said I didn’t need to worry about growing up to look like that.  Thank heavens!  But she did warn me not to get too close to the door so that the raccoon could pounce on the screen and maybe break through.  She didn’t have to tell me twice.

That was one ugly looking dude! 

THE FAUCET  

Yesterday I went exploring and wound up on the kitchen counter again.  I finally learned my lesson and didn't jump onto the refrigerator top this time.  I slipped and fell into the sink.  I was messing around with that silver thing on top of the sink and accidentally turned on the water.

I got w--e--t.  I know it is hot outside and sometimes inside around noon, but that was c-o-l-d.  Brrr....  The awful thing is that it took me almost two hours to dry myself off.  I just kept shivering.  Mommie says if I catch a cold from this I will have to go see Dr. Candie again and probably get another shot.  I will pretend I am well even if I am not because I don't think I want to see that lady again.

Mommie, I feel fine.

ICK. I ATE A GRASSHOPPER   

Yesterday when I was out playing with the outdoor cats, I ran into another group of grasshoppers.  Since I had my mouth open and wasn’t particularly paying attention, one of the grasshoppers landed in my mouth.  Before I understood exactly what happened, I chomped down on that grasshopper.

Ick, icky, icky.  Although it didn’t particularly taste bad, it didn’t taste good either.  I tried to spit it out but it was too far down my throat.  I had to swallow it.  I ran into the house, panting and gasping for air.  I needed water.  Water, water water, so I could finish swallowing that grasshopper.

Mommie was confused, but I didn’t know how to tell her what had happened.  She picked me up (after I drank myself silly) and she tried to comfort me.

I always seem to learn something after some of my escapades.  Lesson:  Do not keep your mouth open when you are running and not paying attention to where you are running.

THE SAND PILE  

Mommie and I went to visit Sparky, Melanie and Sissy the other day.  Sparky's mommie took us all out to the back yard.

Sparky's mommie and Mommie were sitting by the pool drinking something I suspect was stronger than tea.  They were having a great time.  They left the four of us to fend for ourselves.  Sparky growled. Sissy was all prissy and kept strutting around like she was a beauty queen or something.  Melanie (the cat molester) was playing in her sand box.

I finally got even with Melanie.  I went pooh pooh in her sand pile.  She didn't discover it while we were there so I hope Sissy gets the blame for it.  Ha ha Melanie.

HELP!!  I’M GONNA DROWN

In the laundry room Mommie has this cart with three mesh bags attached to them.  One bag holds “fancy” clothes, another the white stuff, and the last one holds everyday clothes. 

These bags don’t have lids on them.  When I sniffed around the bags I realized Mommie had put my pouting corner blanket in the everyday bag.  I was really upset because I NEED my blanket.  So I did the only thing I could do – I climbed up the side of the bag (its mesh) and then fell into the bag to rescue it. 

Unfortunately my blanket was under some of Mommie’s jeans.  I struggled but I finally got to it.  I was now covered up with jeans and blouses.  All at once Mommie grabbed the pile of clothes in the everyday bin and threw the contents (including me) into the washing machine.

The warm water was already running into the machine as I untangled myself and climbed to the top of the pile of clothes.  The water was only about three inches deep, but somehow I figured it would get deeper.

I did the strongest M-E-O-W I think I ever did.  Mommie came running.  She looked around and didn’t see me at first.  By then the water was almost to the top of the clothes and I started to get wet.  I was scared.

Mommie rescued me again.  This time she didn’t ask how I got there.  I love Mommie.

FLYING CRITTERS  

Mommie says there is this flying critter called a bee.  She says there are several kind, bumble bees, honey bees, and just plain ole bees.  Mommie warned me about trying to catch them – don’t!

Of course, I didn’t listen and I tried to chase a honey bee.  Boy, that thing got nasty and chased me.  He can fly faster than I can run.  Luckily Mommie was nearby and she heard my MEOW.  She said he bites h-a-r-d. 

She got a newspaper and rolled it up and swatted it.  His good fortune lasted because he found a hole in the screen and flew out just as Mommie went s-w-a-t.  She missed, but she saved me from a bite.  She was glad because sometimes kittens can be allergic to bee stings and she didn’t want me to find out if I am or not.  I didn’t want to find out either because I am sure I would have had to go see Dr. Candie.