THE TALK
Mommie sat me down and told me she had some things to tell me that I should know.
Mommie said I was adopted – chosen. She said the reason she doesn’t have a tail and I do is
because she is a person and I am a cat. Not just any cat – her cat. She said in this big wide world there are different kinds of animals and that is why she and I are different. She said she loved me very much and she could tell I loved
her back.
She also said my biological mother (whatever that is) must have loved me too and that is why I ended up in the pound and not left on the street. Mommie said my biological mother probably was too young or too stressed to keep me.
Mommie said she would be happy if we could find my “real” mommie.
THE SUNDAY FUNNIES
On Sunday morning Mommie gets this big huge bundle of newspapers thrown at the end of the driveway.
It is a lot bigger bundle than the ones she gets during the week.
Mommie says inside are lots of coupons for cat food. Better look at those carefully, Mommie – I like cat food.
She also says there is a section called “the
comics.” Mommie said I just HAD to look at Garfield. She says he is really funny. I don’t see anything funny. All I see is a tired old cat and a stupid owner. Actually, Mommie is not nearly as stupid as Jon.
Mommie’s
note: No matter what Sparkles says, I like Garfield. Jon is not stupid, just a country boy at heart. Kind of like the men I like. Sparkles: TMI (Too Much Information)
NOTICE
Mommie
says to tell you that Daddie died yesterday and that it will be next Monday before she will be able to post any more stories of my good deeds. FYI Mommie said I could word it any way I wanted to, so there!
FALL IN THE PARK
When Mommie and I went to the park today, a work crew was raking leaves. The city had banned leaf blowers in the park so the workers had to rake by hand.
I found a big pile of leaves that a worker had piled up waiting to be vacuumed
into the leaf shredder. I ran and jumped into the pile. That was fun! Other cats came along and soon there were four of us playing in that pile of leaves. It was fun to jump and romp in the pile. We chased and wrestled with each
other having a great old time.
Pretty soon the worker came back and said some bad words (I think they were bad, but couldn’t tell for sure because they were in Spanish) and he waved the rake around threatening us. We all left in a
hurry.
But, boy that was fun. Mommie said I was very dirty when we came back to the cat mommie bench. Mommie took me home threatening to give me a bath. I immediately found one of my hidey holes and stayed there for about an hour.
Mommie looked but gave up after a couple minutes.
Later she dusted me off some with a dry towel so I would be sort of clean when I went to sleep on her shoulder.
U. S. MAIL (MALE)
Guess what! I
found a hidey hole that Mommie has. Everyday she goes down to the end of the driveway and opens this little black box and takes out papers. Of course, I always follow her and we get our exercise – so says Mommie.
Yesterday when we
were halfway down the driveway, Mommie looked at the mailbox and said she “had mail”. Every time she takes out the mail she leaves the door open. She only has to walk halfway there to see: if the door is shut she has mail and
if it is open she knows she doesn’t have mail – yet. Sometimes she sits in a chair (located just a little way away from the box) if she is expecting something important.
When Mommie walked back to the house, instead of following her
back, I stayed behind to play. You guessed it. The mailbox door was open and the chair was inviting me to jump in it and on up into the mailbox.
I made it onto the lid, looked into the box and then I went inside because
I saw some keys way in the back. There was a spider web back there too. Ooh, I hate spiders except granddaddy long legs, so I left the keys alone.
“Houston we have a problem!” If I back out I might fall to the ground because
the chair is not close enough to catch me without a jump – and I can’t jump backwards. I could wait for the mailman to come tomorrow. Or, I could just slide out and hope I don’t break any bones. It was starting to get hot
in that black box.
I slid back very slowly and caught my front paws on the lip of the mailbox lid. From there it didn’t seem too far down. It didn’t hurt when I hit the ground.
Today Mommie wondered why the
mailbox lid was bent a little.
HELPING MOMMIE SORT CLOTHES
Yesterday Mommie was cleaning out her closet. She said there were some things that should go to the Salvation Amy or Good Will.
She said “one for the Salvation Amy, one to clean for winter”. Mommie repeated that about ten times. Finally there was a BIG pile ready to go to the Salvation Amy. And, a LITTLE pile to clean for winter. It seems
the Salvation Amy pile was for clothes too small to wear. Mommie and her diet!
I was having a good old time playing in the “too small” pile. When it was time to load up the car with the clothes, I had fallen asleep under a sheer
blouse. I could still breathe because it was kind of a mesh-type material. Mommie picked up the pile and noted that it was very heavy. But she took it to the car and crammed the pile onto the back seat.
She went to another closet
and began the same process. Pretty soon she wondered where I was. She called and called and I couldn’t answer – I was asleep in the car. All of a sudden it dawned on her that I must have been in the pile and that is why it was
so heavy.
She went to the car and there I was – just getting up from a nice nap. Mommie loves me.
MOMMIE, I HAVE A TUMMY ACHE
Yesterday when Mommie fed me my favorite meal –
salmon and liver pate – I couldn’t eat. My tummy was growling from hunger but I was nauseous. I almost threw up on the kitchen floor right by my meal. Fortunately, I made it to the litter pan in time.
Mommie was wondering
why I had a tummy ache. She doesn’t know that earlier yesterday I found some old cereal flakes right beside the compost sack. Apparently when Mommie was throwing the old cereal away (because it was out of date), she missed some flakes and
they fell outside the compost sack. At the time I did think they tasted kind of “funny” – not ha ha. If I knew what cardboard tasted like, I think that is what they would taste like.
Mommie called Dr. Candie and she said
that if I threw up more, then bring me in. Otherwise, she said it was probably from something I had eaten earlier and the nausea would go away.
While Mommie was at the computer she held me and petted me until I fell asleep. She knew I didn’t
feel well. When I woke up, I felt fine. A little love goes a long way.
I love Mommie.
THE STOVE
Since the temperature got down to 45 degrees last night, Mommie thought she should start
up the propane heater. She was mumbling something like “I hope it starts, blah, blah, blah.”
She put the dial to start and pressed the ignition button. Boom (small one) and the fire started right away. She
was pleased with herself because this was the first year she had to do it on her own.
Later that day I wanted up on the counter by the microwave (some stray popcorn was on the counter). Like I always do to get there, I jumped on top of the propane
heater and then onto the counter. As I was sitting on top of the heater getting ready to jump on the counter – OUCH OUCH OUCH my tail was hanging down in front of the heater and I think it singed some of my tail hair.
Mommie heard my cries
and came running. She looked at me and then at my tail. Mommie said: “so that’s how you get on the counter top! I just knew you couldn’t jump totally from the floor to the counter top. You are busted, buddy
boy.”
Mommie ran out to the porch and grabbed a leaf from the aloe vera plant and broke it apart to get the salve inside the leaf to rub the aloe on my tail. She didn’t scold or say bad words. She just stroked me to hear
me purr.
Buddy boy?.